No, you’re right
I didn’t really know her
Just on facebook and instagram,
and maybe a message or two over four years.
I only heard her private worries as a mother.
We only shared the most beautiful moments we could find
And the deep questions and joys of faith.
She only poured her heart out about the fear of a long painful death
And the elusive meaning of suffering.
And when she had so much trouble breathing she had to crawl
She asked if she should go to the hospital (again).
Yes, we said. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
And we waited, like we always do.
And it was quiet.
And the next day we said
No, we said. No, no, no, no, no, no.